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are we there yet?
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Sunday, April 8, 2007
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I am so stinkin' impatient.
I just got a book in the mail from my mom - "Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years and yours," by Alicia Britt Chole. Here's a bit of text from the inside of the book jacket:
"Most of us struggle if our dreams are delayed one year, let alone twenty or thirty! We find God's pauses perplexing - a waste of our potential. And when those pauses extend beyond what we can explain, we often spiral into self-doubt or second-guessing that leads to hasty decisions and spiritual discouragement."
I may be repeating myself a bit, but this is really where I feel like I'm at right now. Most of the time I really don't feel that discouraged, but when I get to thinking about my future (near future, mostly, as in... what on earth am I doing next year??), I get stuck in a rut. Where am I going, God? I didn't get accepted to the music school, the dorms are driving me crazy and linguistics just seems to keep taking me farther and farther from what I originally wanted to study. After all the wonderful things You did for me, this week, ANY week, why do I still find myself fretting away a Sunday night, feeling like I have no direction? I had a great weekend, to be sure, but now it's quiet - and I'm tired - and I begin to feel a little lost as I consider exactly how UN-concrete and shifting my little world is. I am definitely in a waiting place. I've been reading Jeremiah 29, over and over and over, feeling a little like an exile myself. Happy, and still finding a lot of joy and excitement in the little things, but... unsure. Worrisome. Thankfully, God has a different take. He's not worried, and He promises my time won't be wasted when it's in His hands:
"But God views them differently... during those hidden years in Nazareth, God granted Jesus protected, undisturbed room to be and become, to grow and learn. That's how hidden years can be for every one of us - if we can recognize their potential and realize that anonymous seasons are sacred spaces to be rested in, not rushed through - and more definitely never to be regretted."
Mom, THANK YOU for sending me this book. I can't wait until I can STOP reading my Historical Linguistics book and start reading this.
On the upshot, I had a really, really good week... remind me to fill you in later!
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